The work of a man who wishes to awaken is excruciatingly difficult. The attention wanders, drifts towards a thought, a physical posture, an emotion. The work is to stay awake to myself; to observe my inner world, to resist the pull, to be vigilant. How to awaken the body, the intellectual function, and feeling? How is it that we can struggle to not be taken?
Exchanges Within, John Pentland
Until my attention is divided, there is no work. You understand that now. As long as I’m – whatever we call it – in my ego, as long as I think that just following one idea or applying one idea to myself is work, is practice, if you like, nothing can come. Now, very often that is how I begin to work. And then at a certain point the attention divides. Who divides it? It isn’t clear to you yet, that at a certain point I feel a relaxation, you know. You understand?
I begin to be aware of a current, a movement of relaxation. Yes? Now do you suddenly switch to putting all your attention on the relaxation? That wouldn’t be consciousness. To be aware, part of it remains, part of the tension attracts my attention. Partly the tension attracts my attention and partly I feel myself relaxing. Do you understand?
So the attention has suddenly divided. Yes? Well ten of course I can really say I’m between; it’s not a thought then. That’s not something of an image or something; the attention is divided. It’s very insecure. You know? It’s so brief, it’s so insecure I can hardly say that I experience it. Then I experience it again, maybe. Maybe another moment of relaxation, where partly the attention is taken by this current towards relaxation, towards going down in myself, but some of the attention remains behind on the tension. And so, again, for a moment I’m between. Do you understand?
Reality of Being, Jeanne de Salzmann
In my usual state, my attention is not voluntary. It is of low quality, without power, and flows passively toward the outside. But this attention has the possibility of being transformed, of achieving a purer quality by maintaining a direction recognized as necessary. By the force of my attention actively turned inward, the movement of energy changes.. Instead of going outside, it concentrates within until it forms the center of gravity of my Presence. My whole effort, my whole work, is to maintain this direction – to maintain a body so relaxed that the energy does not leave, a thinking turned toward myself so vigilant that its very presence sustains the stillness of my body, and a feeling of what wants to be recognized, of what is here, a feeling of “I.” It is an effort of attention coming from all the parts of myself – to purify the attention in order to concentrate on “I.” In this effort I discover a way of functioning that is no longer passive, a work in which the functions are called to obey the movement of attention.
